Love in Action

I am an anxious/preoccupied attachment style.  It's good to have this awareness. I have high emotional dependency, need for constant reassurance, hypersensitivity, clinginess, and people-pleasing. I imagine the worst-case scenario when he doesn't call or text right away.  I want to spend all of my time with my partner. It leads to rumination.  Ways that I can help myself: -Journaling -Check my assumption -Pausing before reacting -Sit with the discomfort and activation. Don't outsource my emotions.  -Is this actual danger and unsafe? Or is this unfamiliar and uncomfortable? -"What do I need to do right now that doesn't require him to change?" Take accountability for my feelings. -Don't interpret autonomy as rejection. -You want connection without feeling like you'll die without it. -Craving connection is human. It doesn't require urgency. -Growth doesn't feel like fireworks. It feels like quieter reactions. -When panic shows up, slow down the pa...

 Do you need more time to get to know me?  " You’re going to get hurt if you stay; you’re going to get hurt if you go. The question, I think, is how much good stuff do you want to have first." "I don’t think that him wanting to explore other things is actually about you and how good of a partner you are at all, as difficult as that may be to internalize and believe. It’s just that life is short and hard and none of us know what we’re doing and we’re all trying to pack as much good stuff in as we can, but we’re also pretty bad at that. I don’t think this is your only shot at love, I don’t think that by walking away you’d close yourself off to anything. I just don’t believe you have to walk away yet." My anxious attachment style makes me want to cling and seek answers. It makes me want to chase. That's about my feelings. My feelings are important. I deserve my feelings to be heard, understood, and validated. His feelings are equally as valid. He deserves to be hea...

I like you. I'm not dating anyone else. I'm not having sex with anyone else. I only want to have sex with you. I cannot separate sex from the emotional experience. I can casually date, but not have casual sex. I want to be exclusive. You haven't confessed liking me at all. You are still on the dating apps and paying for them. You say you're not dating anyone else or having sex, but it seems like you are entertaining options should they arise. You're not ready to be exclusive. You're not there yet, but you think your walls are slowly coming down. You're not sure if you're emotionally available. It's easy to text when you're bored. When you're watching something and feel lonely. When you have downtime during your day. You don't necessarily seek me out to build connection. I'm kept on the backburner. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. I'm giving too much of myself without little in return. I need to set my own boundar...

First date, New Year's Eve (12/31/25) at Bootleggers Italian Bistro . New Year's kiss. So soft, gentle, and romantic. Kiss against the wall on the patio. Driving me to my car in the rain. He caught my smile on the way home. And how I definitely drove the wrong way home. Lunch date (1/5/26), Met at Jason's Deli . Had muffuletta. Kissed in the car. Shielded me from sun and wind. Second date (1/6/26), Tuesday night at Town Square. Chicken nachos and beer at Yardhouse. Movie night with weird table tennis in theater 5 on the left. Sexy times in the theater and backseat of the car. Third date (1/10/26), Dean's. Whiskey at the bar. Sharing the bruschetta and tiramisu. Gambling together. Touching my hair. In the back of the car. Ditched the bra, then complained, and he circled back to appreciate it. The "yes, finally" when his chest met mine. He touched me, but I stopped him. Confessed "I like you". Lunch date (1/11/26), Taiwan Deli. Sharing dim sum together...