More Dates

So Logan.

Are we aligned? He wants a relationship, but wants to move slow emotionally.

Which means I'll have to slow down the physical to match the pace, so I don't get hurt. I told him I cannot separate the physical from the emotional.

He's a Christian, but respects my views.

We should have the dealbreaker conversation next.

  • So I have a child, but do you want more? Would you regret not having your own child?
  • Do you want to be remarried?
  • Exclusive and testing before sex. How do you feel about that?
  • Daily communication. Would you be able to meet me on this need?
I think we are fairly compatible. We have fun together. He's witty, smart, attractive. Nervous about falling in love. We'll see how that goes. I'm open-minded.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I Need

Okay, I need some ground rules for dating. First, I need consistent daily communication. It doesn't need to be constant. At least daily. I like a couple of daytime texts and nightly calls. Working up to this. Second, I need at least one date a week to start. Third, I only move off the app if we are exclusive. Then we both move off together. Fourth, overnights only happen if we are exclusive and working towards a relationship. I don't match energy. I'm my true self, and I expect the same from you. If we're not compatible, it will show. It's not about overextending myself; it's showing up as my authentic self because that's what love and a relationship is (at least my ideal one), and that's what I want.
Read more

That's not slowing down

Okay, so I did the exact opposite. Why am I so fucking impulsive?!  I did not slow down with Logan. I sped everything up. The physical, the emotional, damn. I don't regret it, but it's not doing me any favors. Why do I lead with my heart so much? (And partly my libido too...) He's worried about getting his heart broken. Meanwhile, I'm presenting mine on a fucking platter. Along with my body. I'm annoyed. Just annoyed. You know what, go talk to all the girls you want. Find what you want. If it's not me, then don't date me. If our communication doesn't match, don't bother.  I want to assimilate you into my life. I want you to join me at the park with Henry. I can see you lying on the blanket with me. I'm even considering being pregnant again... I feel like a lot of my hard 'no's weren't even very hard to begin with. But if you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything. Life is too short. I guess I'm more agreeable. Would I wan...
Read more

The Next Day

Logan decided that he needs more time. He's not ready for a relationship. He's not ready for a relationship... with me. That line hurt. I reminded him so much of his ex. I think I reminded him of the conflict he experienced with his ex that he wasn't ready for. He's not sure how to manage conflict. How to show up when someone is hurt. How to respond when someone expresses their feelings. When it's going well, it's easy. It flows. But when conflict appears, so does the same behaviors. I express that I'm upset. He feels like he can't be himself. Then he runs. He can't handle it. It reminds him that something is going to end. So he'll end it first so he's not hurt. Because divorce is too fresh. He knows how far lost he was. He feels those same feelings with me (transference) because he has not resolved his old wounds. And here I am, as collateral. This ending doesn't hurt as much as Ryan. Partially because I think I knew that Logan wasn'...
Read more